Overcoming Self-Sabotage: Strategies to Stop Getting in Your Own Way

Moving jobs, changing careers, doing something new- all things that can seem like a huge deal. But it isn't the practical parts that put us off these changes, it is often our own feelings.

In the last week alone I have heard from my clients:

"I fear getting burnt."

"I would love to do this but I am in my comfort zone."

"I worry what they may think."

"I feel like a square peg in a round hole"

Can you resonate with this? I know I have been able to at times. I coach a lot of people who feel stuck or out of options, but even with the most difficult situations there has always been a way through. Here are some of the ways we have worked on this:

Go back to your values

There has been visible sceptism with some of my clients before, and these turned out to be where it has helped the most. When you feel stuck and are no longer aligned- get aligned again. What are your values and how can you put these in the centre of your life and career again?

Consider Confidence

It isn't always at the root of everything, but it is often lingering on the ground. A lack of confidence can show up in reluctance to change, choosing safer options instead of taking risks, or not fully committing to a change to protect yourself from hurt or rejection. There are numerous exercises I use with clients to help boost their confidence in these situations. I recommend mapping out your skills, achievements and getting feedback from trusted parties as a good way to start if you're going it alone.

Face Fears in a controlled way

Most of the time we know exactly why we are not able to take the next step, and however uncomfortable it is to confront, it really helps to name it. Is it fear of rejection, failure, looking "too big for our boots"? At the heart of these is a feeling, and a vulnerability which often makes it safer to avoid doing the thing we need to do. Working through these in coaching session can help to find small actions to take towards becoming braver. It is the power of these that we often see perpetuating throughout everything- long after coaching has finished. One of the reasons many call it "Transformational!" Small actions in a supportive environment can have big impacts.

Wanting to make changes is so positive, and it is normal to feel fear around options and what may be different. However, if you find yourself stuck, and unable to find options, it might be time to invest in your future self and work with a supportive coach. Let me know if I can help you.